FORGET HOW ARE YOU
Never mind How Are You, instead I want to know: How is all of this affecting you? I want to know, do you have all the resources and support you need? I want to know, what’s working well in your life right now? If I truly want to know the answers to these questions, I can’t get them by asking the basic inquiry: How Are You.
Many people are numb. The world feels busted, split right down the middle. People are hurting beyond what we can fathom. These are not ordinary times or familiar circumstances, why approach them the same as you did before? Don’t.
As you move your leadership forward and build bridges in your community, your ability to genuinely connect with others can make a significant difference. Retire the bland, overused “How are you?” The majority of people say “Fine,” “Good,” or “Ok.” Most don’t tell you how they are actually doing, their response is simply automatic, based on an outdated, common question.
Watch my video for a shift in connecting.
To meet your ill brother or unemployed aunt or frightened colleague where they are, you’ll need to broaden your communication skills. Right now, you have the power to verbalize heartfelt intentions. You have the power to listen intently.
Three questions to help strengthen your ability to LISTEN.
Listen Without Waiting to Speak. Don’t think about what you want to say, that takes away from the person speaking, you miss the story and the sincere sharing. Be a genuine listener. Be quiet. Be still. Listen.
Don’t interrupt. Just don’t do it. It’s not about you, hear others out.
Make Sure You’re Doing it Right. Find an accountability partner to help you advance your listening skills. Motivational speaker, John Maxwell writes about his personal experience to become a better listener. On his blog.
“The final step I took to become a better listener was to ask others to let me know whenever they felt I wasn’t listening to them. Why did I take that step? Because not listening was a blind spot for me, and I needed help to see it. Whenever someone called me out for not listening, I apologized, closed my mouth, and concentrated on listening. There’s nothing like accountability for keeping you honest!”
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Raquel Eatmon is a Be Bold Accomplice, Keynote Speaker and Author of Beyond Enough How to Lead with Your Whole Self. For over a decade she has produced the Woman of Power Leadership Conference for high potentials. She is challenging audiences to live and lead bolder lives through strategic risk taking rituals. Follow on Twitter, Instagram & LinkedIn